


Let Me Tell You Your Secrets

by CaptainEdgarOfTheHole



Series: Orange and Aqua [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Soldiers, Tucker Ships Grimmons, Tucker is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3756943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainEdgarOfTheHole/pseuds/CaptainEdgarOfTheHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The missing scene from season 7 where Tucker and Grif talk about embarrassing past romances and Tucker lets Grif know that he is completely in love with Simmons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Tell You Your Secrets

Grif had sneaked out of the main room of the temple twenty minutes ago while Sarge was busy arguing with the floating bowling ball that was now Church, while Caboose stood beside them shouting random words just trying to be a part of the conversation.

It only took Gif a few minutes to realise that this temple is really fucking huge; and maybe wondering into the labyrinth that is this temple was not one of his better ideas. He was rounding a corner considering just giving up trying to find the others and taking a nap when he spotted Tucker seated on the couch sized sill of a giant window, cleaning his rifle.

“Yo dude what are you doing out here?” Grif calls surprising the aqua soldier.

“Juggling…. While standing on my head…. And reciting the-“

“Okay! Okay! I get it dumb question! What I mean was why aren’t you in there, like celebrating the return of your friend or something?”

Tucker moves his feet off of the window seal making room for Grif to sit down next to him – god knows that the fatass wouldn’t be able to stay standing for more than two minutes maximum – before replying

“Dude Church dies like once a month man! We only celebrate the months where church _doesn’t_ die”

Grif laughs, collapsing onto the area Tucker left open for him.

“So how the fuck did you end up here man? I thought that you were dispatched to Rats Nest like the rest of us but when I was selling our ammo to that blue guy jones he said that their only new recruit was caboose.”

“Yeah I was supposed to go there but I heard some people talking at HQ about some rumours going around on the alien home world of some kind of saviour, I thought it sounded a lot like that stupid prophesy that the aliens had about me and Junior so I jumped on a ship and went to go find out” Tucker explains casually as if he were talking about the weather and not about going AWOL from the army.

“How’d you find him?” Grif asks, he had always felt a little bad about the fact that Tuckers kid had been caught up in Sarges crazy plan. He is technically the enemy but Tucker is actually a pretty decent dude and though his kid _is_ a creepy fucking alien they shouldn’t have tried to kill it. Especially if it wasn’t even going to make a cool explosion.

“By being really fucking awesome! What’s with the twenty questions? Am I on trial or something?” Grif laughs leaning back against the window.

“Calm down man I was just making conversation. It’s not like my choices for conversation are overwhelming in here. I can talk to an Idiot, an asshole bowling ball or a guy who spends the majority of his day figuring out new ways to make my life hell. I need to talk to someone semi sane for a change”

“Okay wait, first of all, _semi_ sane? I was the sanest person in blood gulch. I’m as sane as they come. And secondly why isn’t your boyfriend here to talk to? I thought you two were like inseparable or some shit.” Tucker replies, Tucker had been wanting to ask about the lack of the maroon soldier since the others got here but the reds and the blues aren’t exactly known for their communication skills – up till now apparently – so he had let the topic drop.

“You had a kid to an alien, your best friend was a ghost and you spent the majority of your time making dirty jokes. You’re the furthest thing you can be from sane. And Simmons is not my boyfriend”

“Oh yeah if he’s not your boyfriend how come you knew exactly who I was talking about.”

“There are only two other people on red team not here dipshit! And I _know_ you wouldn’t think I’m with donut” Grif is eternally glad for his helmet then as he can feel his face become flushed, because he’s angry of course, not at all because he thinking about Simmons being his boyfriend makes him flustered in any way.

“Why couldn’t you be with Donut? I mean the dudes obviously at least bi. And you have to admit he’s kinda hot”

“How bout I couldn’t be with him ‘cause I’m not gay!”

“You didn’t deny that he was hot”

“He’s not hot! Maybe he’s slightly attractive if you’re into that sort of thing… which I’m not!” Grif protests, greatly regretting his decision to talk to Tucker. Dudes an asshole.

“I don’t believe you! You can’t tell me you’ve never once, not ever, gotten down and dirty with a dude. We’ve been in the army a long time and the only women we come across are fucking bitches or related to you.”

“I’ve never once done anything at all dirty with a dude” Grif shouts his voice wavering in the middle slightly. Tucker catches the uncertainty in his voice and grins smugly.

“Take off your helmet” Tucker starts reaching up am removing his own. Grif hesitates at the tone in tuckers voice. Tucker has either figured out he was lying or is going to make out with him, neither option will end well.

“C’mon man take off your helmet, look me in the eye and tell my you’ve never gotten even the slightest bit of action from a dude”

_Fuck_ Grif thinks, situation number one it is. He has two choices here, tell Tucker about his first ‘girlfriend’ and never hear the end of it from the aqua solider, or, he could take off his helmet, try to lie, fail spectacularly – despite how often he does it Grif is a horrible liar – and be forced to tell the story anyway.

Grif removes his helmet, he might be a terrible liar but he has to give it a shot for the sake of the very little pride he has left.

“I swear” Grif starts looking right at Tucker “that I have never once had sex with a dude” he says calmly.

“So you’ve never fucked a dude, cool, but that’s not really what I was asking” Tucker replies that stupid all-knowing grin returning to his face.

Grif was stuck, there was no way he was getting out of this with that little bit of pride left.

“Okay fine! I’ve made out with a dude! Happy now? It was an accident!” Grif yells.

 Tucker laughs, looking happier than a kid on Christmas day “Oh fuck man how do you make out with a dude by accident? What you were just walking by and happened to fall tongue first?”

Grifs face gets all red and flustered causing Tucker to laugh more till he is practically cackling with evil glee.

“Look it was my first girlfriend and it wasn’t till after we made out that I found out that my girlfriend… may have in fact been my… boyfriend” Grif grumbles in explanation. It really wasn’t his fault! It was one very attractive dude and he was a good kisser!

"Wait! was she transgender cause that doesn't count, cause then she's a women. If you're confused by it, we have a pop up book we gave to Caboose that will help" Tucker says.

"No dude! I know that! Turns out the guy had bet a friend that he could convince someone he was a girl, and get them to date him for at least a month" Grif clarifies.

"Oh man! You dated him for a month!" Tucker asks gleefully

"No....um... Three" Grif mutters reluctantly, causing Tucker to burst into laughter.

Tucker was clutching his side trying to breathe through the laughter and despite how much he knew this conversation would come back to haunt him, the laughter was infectious. Soon Grifs slight chuckle became a full belly laugh and set off Tucker once more till they were left laughing crying messes. Grif sprawled out on the window seat while Tucker lay on the ground where a firm shove from Grif landed him after he made a not so witty comment about girlfriend dick.

“Alright, alright” Grif calls calming himself down “You can’t tell me _you_ , Mr. Bow chicka bow wow, don’t have any embarrassing relationship stories” Tucker shrugs, sitting up and leaning against the wall.

“Sure! Tons! But I’ve never accidentally kissed a dude!” Tucker stops to think for a second “I have accidentally given a hand job…. Sort of”

“What!” Grif exclaims “How do you find me accidentally kissing a dude like fucking crazy but you _accidentally_ giving a dude a handjob is just fucking normal.”

“Hey, I never once said it was normal, but in this instance it was totally… understandable”

“Understandable!? What the fuck does that even mean?” Grif all but wails in confusion.

“Okay so, I was at this party when I was eighteen, and I was absolutely tanked. And we all somehow end up in the neighbour’s pool, I dove under the water-“

“I think I know where this is going” Grif interrupts

“Hey! Do you wanna hear the story or not!”

“Alright! Alright! Geez, continue”

“Okay so I dived under the water and immediately swam into the side of the pool”

“Okay so maybe I didn’t know where that was going.” Grif interrupts once again, causing Tucker to glare at him. Seriously can a person tell a story around here! Grif holds up his hands in surrender.

“So as I was saying” Tucker continues, obnoxiously in Grifs opinion. “I swam into the side of the pool and I cracked my head open so someone had to take me to the hospital, only we were all drunk! I was stumbling around looking for someone sober enough to take me to hospital but there was so much blood coming out of my head that I was all dizzy”

“Yeah, I’m sure being piss drunk at the time had nothing to do with it” Grif mumbles with a devious grin. Tucker resolutely ignores Grif’s interruption understanding that he is only doing it to piss tucker off now.

“So I was going down this hall and everything starts swaying and I’m going down! But this guy who was actually sober, I think his name was David, catches me! He tries to help me sit on a nearby couch but I accidentally pulled him down on top of me, and well you can guess the rest.” Tucker finishes with his a shrug.

“Actually no I can’t guess the rest! Why the fuck would you go through this whole story just to skip the only part of the story that was relevant!” Grif shouts.

“Well maybe all the interruptions just put me out of a story telling mood!” Tucker wails with a smug look on his face. Grif rolls his eyes.

“Alright fiiiine! I’m so so sorry your highness, how dare I interrupt your magnificent story that was being told so well. Please tell me the ending so I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering how you accidentally jacked off nice sober David.”

“Well seeing as you asked so nicely.” Tucker says magnanimously “Okay so David’s on top of me and somehow my hand, well more like wrist, is between his legs, then this big, bald, drunk off his ass cockbite thinks it’s some sort of dog pile and next I know there are like 20 guys just piled on top of the two of us! I start trying to free my hand and well I was just basically rubbing David’s dick! Absolutely accidentally and totally understandable!”

Grif stares at Tucker for a second sizing him up “Bullshit”

“What?”

“I call bullshit, there is no way that happened!”

“Why the fuck would I make that up!”

“You’re a fucked up dude man, I don’t ask questions anymore.”

“Oh fuck you! You find the guy ask him!” Tucker shouts outraged, crossing his arms and pouting like a two year old.

“We’re in the middle of a war on some bumfuck planet in the middle of nowhere, I’m sure finding him should be no problem at all” Grif replies sarcastically

“Shut up”

“The guy just has to be in the army, probably stationed not far from here”

“I hate you”

“In fact I bet he’ll be the next freelancer who arrives to make our lives hell!”

“I get your point just _shut up_!” Grif just laughs settling into the curve of the windowsill, it was actually pretty comfortable, the perfect place for a nap if it weren’t for the aqua soldier shuffling around on the floor next to him.

“Hey you never did answer my question” Tucker says taking the orange soldiers lead and getting comfortable.

“What?”

“Where’s Simmons? I would have thought he would have jumped at the opportunity for some quality ass kissing time with Sarge” Grif wakes up a little at that, thinking about how Simmons was acting when they left. Something had been up with Simmons, he had been acting a bit more like Grif, and as much as the orange soldier is always bugging him to question authority and slack off every now and then, it actually seemed wrong for the marron soldier to be acting like anything but the structure loving kiss-ass that he is.

“… I don’t know, I think he seemed angry when we left, he has been acting weird lately…” Tucker glances up at Grifs worried expression and rolls his eyes, these two are so oblivious! He sighs.

“What do you mean?” he asks, resigned to his fate of having to talk about Grif and Simmons relationship issues for the foreseeable future.

“He was bailing on his duties, being rude to Sarge, he even came and yelled at me when I was packing my duffel. And not like normal yelling about how lazy I was but he was like yelling at me for going, for helping Caboose go and get himself killed, he even shouted at me not to go” Grif rambles actually enjoying being able to talk to someone about these things for a change.

“Okay I’m going to just skip the part where Simmons was trying to convince you all not to come help me cause hey, fuck you too Simmons, and just address the fact that you claim the two of you are not dating, yet, you are basically telling me that when you volunteered for a dangerous mission Simmons begged you not to go, cause he is so obviously worried about you.”

“He wasn’t worried about me he had been acting this way for ages, I started to encourage some of Sarge’s dumb plans and he was getting really angry and then he started acting…. Well actually a lot like me” Grif continues sitting up, his words coming out in a rush. Tucker stays where he is, eyes drifting shut.

“Which translates to he was jealous that you were suddenly all buddy buddy with Sarge and not only that but you then started taking over his role in the group making him feel not only rejected but also useless. Why wouldn’t he be angry man, you’re such a jerk!”

Grif stares at the aqua soldier who is drifting off on the floor. He can’t be right, Simmons wouldn’t be jealous and he wasn’t trying to make Simmons feel like he was useless. That’s the last thing he would want to do to him! All Grif was trying to do was make sure that things wouldn’t have to change again, if they were forced to relocate again things might not work out as well. They could end up in a place like rats nest where he was promoted above Simmons so they never got to actually spend time together anymore and Grif actually had do work, then when he decided, fuck it, he was just going to blow off his responsibilities and annoy Simmons like he wanted to, which of course resulted in him forgetting to pick up the extra ammo. He was court marshalled and sentenced to execution by firing squad, when they told Simmons this he punched the guard in the face and tried to get Grif out of there. That of course landed the maroon soldier the same fate.

Thinking about it now he realises how that all sounds, he was almost killed because he wanted to spend more time with Simmons and Simmons almost dies cause he tried to save him. Then when faced with the possibility of something like that happening again he decided to go on a frankly suicidal mission to help someone he didn’t even like!

“Okay, you realise you are saying this out loud right?” Tucker asks the panicking soldier “And like harsh, I don’t get why you all seem to hate me so much, it’s not like I ever tried to kill _your_ son….. Assholes.”

Grif can’t help but laugh at that, he has a point. They may be enemies but Tucker has never actually done anything mean to them, he’s kind of really shitty at being an enemy.

“I said I was sorry about that! And we’re talking about my problems right now!”

“Your problem? What is your problem? You and Simmons have been acting like you are in a relationship for years, you will most likely continue to act the exact same way until eventually the sexual tension becomes too much and you’ll fuck, then probably pretend it never happened for about a week until you fight next and do it again.”

“Do you just have nothing else to do but study my and Simmons’ relationship?” Grif says annoyed at just how accurate the description really is.

Tucker just shrugs, “There was not much else to do in Blood Gulch and I was always stuck on surveillance, you learn to pick up on things.”

Grif is about to start asking questions about just what he has learnt when he church ball comes floating around the corner.

“Stop! No! Bad body! What the – Guys! Hey guys help!” Church yells as he drifts past the two soldiers.

“Church! Church where are you going? The buddie meeting is not over! I still have to tell you about the time Tucker shot you with a tank!” Caboose yells as he chases after the floating Church.

“Hey!” Sarge’s gruff voice calls from around the corner causing Grif to groan “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to turn your back on your enemy!”

Sarge comes around the corner and spots the two privates, who have yet to be bothered to get up and see what is going on, and pauses “Grif! What are you doing with your helmet off! And in front of the enemy! I will not tolerate this kind of insubordination!”

Before Grif can respond with some sort of sarcastic remark there is a loud crash from another room and a panicked shout of ‘Tucker did it!’ from the other room.

Tucker sighs and drags himself up, placing his helmet back on his head.

“I’m going to go make sure Caboose didn’t like accidentally open the door or something, have fun with your freak out Grif!” he calls as he saunters off. Leaving Grif with an angry sergeant and a whole new outlook on his and Simmons’ relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part in a series of Tucker and Grif broTP fics that will be made up of a bunch of missing scenes from the seasons.  
> Thanks for reading! I love to heard feedback so please comment <3 you!
> 
> #FFAHC


End file.
